Hello, squiders. Sorry for, like, just disappearing last week. I ran into this issue where I was so not looking forward to something that I found it hard to do other things.
Very inconvenient. Must ponder how to avoid in the future.
Anyway, it’s now February, the darkest and shortest month of the year. We got a foot of snow today, yet I still had to go out in it, and will have to do again, because despite literally everything else being closed, rehearsal is apparently still going to happen.
Which brings me to the main point of this post.
In December, I tried out for my local theater company’s show, The Pirates of Penzance, because I think it’s funny and I like pirates. I spent a ton of time working on an audition song, which, like usual, was amazing at home and went way worse at actual auditions (though probably the best they’ve ever gone, so that’s something).
Oh, and the bigger, mobile one is old enough to participate now, so he came along to audition.
So, long story short (too late), we both got cast as police, which was a disappointment to both of us, since we wanted to be pirates. Also, the police are only in Act 2 so we also have to sit around for half a show, which is hard for the bigger, mobile one, who is on the autism spectrum.
Anyway, back in December we had a rehearsal where we just sang through the show start to finish (very boring, should have brought a book for bigger, mobile one) and I had this revelation while I was listening to the principals sing.
And that was that I didn’t want to be them.
Like, I’d gone to all this trouble to do a solo instead of an ensemble audition, and why? I didn’t want a solo. I never want a solo. I don’t actually like singing by myself in front of people and I don’t actually really like doing musicals, so what the actual heck?
Anyway, because the police are in the show so little, we haven’t actually had to do much (we’ve been to three total rehearsals) so it’s kind of been out of sight, out of mind and not much stress. But now we’re less than a month from the show and I’m torn between “Oh God we’re almost live and we haven’t even blocked all of Act 2 I have to practice omg” and “I don’t really care, this is the easiest part ever, I would rather be writing.”
(The bigger, mobile one is an added complication. He’s been doing a lot of complaining about the amount of time rehearsal is taking up–again, not much, not yet–and he’s having difficulty with the choreography because he’s 9 and has no training and also apparently no rhythm. He’s also easily bored and has trouble following along in the music or the script. Perhaps not my best idea. At least he’s having fun when we’re actually doing stuff.)
So I was complaining to my husband that I was never going to do another musical again, that what I really wanted to do was straight acting but this group almost exclusively does musicals, etc., etc., he pointed out that I’d said all of this the last musical (which was Music Man in Feb 2020, right before everything shut down).
And I’d forgotten. I’d completely spaced that I’d come to this realization during Music Man, that the musicals weren’t for me and I should stop doing them and focus on other things I wanted to do, like writing or finding a theater company that did non-musical shows. I’ve gone back and looked at the blog here, and I’ve got a whole post about it.
Is it because COVID happened? I mean, 2020/2021/2022 thus far are just kind of a huge jumbled mess in my brain. So would I have remembered that I had decided not to do anymore musicals if things had stayed normal? Or would I have forgotten again otherwise?
Will I forget again, and in another two years be right back where I am now?
God, I hope not.
But just in case: Kit. Do not spend time and money putting together a solo for musical auditions. You will be grumpy about not getting a real part but also be grumpy about there not being any real parts you actually want (which is a straight acting/no singing role, which is extremely rare in any musical). You will be grumpy because you were a big deal actor back in high school/college and feel like you should be able to have a role where you can show your chops but you will not get a chance to do that in this theater company. You must accept this. Let the musicals go. If they do readers’ theater or a straight play, focus on those. Otherwise, look for other opportunities elsewhere. Or, you know, just focus on your writing.
You’re already writing and drawing. How many creative things do you think you can manage? Be reasonable.
But, anyway, I may be a bit spotty this month. I have feelings, squiders. They are confusing and stupid. (It’s something like–I am having fun when I actually doing something but I am also resentful about having such a small part. I don’t know. Stuff.)
(ALSO I am always cast as a police officer. Something about me must say police officer. The first role I ever got in a show was a police officer, and I’m at 75% police officer roles with this particular theater company too.)
(I was a pick-a-little lady in Music Man, which thus far is the only non-police role. There was a police officer role, but that person had lines so of course I did not get it.)
13K for January, though, which was not shabby! I’m into the climax. I meant to start it today, but we had a snow day (except from rehearsal, apparently) so I have had small, mobile ones everywhere.
See you later, squiders!
