Oh, squiders, when I was in my 20s, I was so productive! I could hammer out 3000 words a day easily, and maybe even some of them were good. I had time to dance and cosplay and basically do whatever I want, and I could be knee deep in five different projects and actually make progress on all of them.
(Or so it feels, with the tint of nostalgia.)
It’s been a rough week. I haven’t touched my revision prep since…Thursday? And aside from QuestPit last week I haven’t touched my submission materials at all. My brain is still hyping up a new project with no details (genre? length? format? end goal?), and meanwhile there are back-burning projects like that SkillShare class I started but never finished lurking and causing vague anxiety.
My computer’s operating system randomly corrupted on Friday and had to be completely rebuilt (which I’m still dealing with, as I find programs and settings missing and have to relog into my entire life) which cost me time I could work over the weekend.
My hip/back pain now has the added complication of ankle pain. I fell Thursday night (I was at someone’s house and their dog got out, and I was watching the dog instead of where I was going). My legs are built interestingly (I have no reflexes–I know they don’t hit people in the knees with hammers anymore but mine have never done anything) and I can’t sprain my ankles, but I think I may have done something to the tendons. At first I thought it was nerve pain from everything else but now I suspect I injured it in the fall.
And, of course, what helps the back pain makes the hip pain worse, and what helps the hip pain makes the ankle pain worse…
I’ve got volunteer commitments I’m behind on as well. It’s a group project, as it were, and it feels like I’m back in high school doing the whole thing myself while my teammates show up to the meetings and never agree on anything or do anything outside of class.
And my youngest is sick.
I’m tired, squiders. Oh so tired. When I get free time I’m spending it on silly things like phone games or YouTube videos because I can’t get up the energy to work on anything else.
Burnout is a real thing, but it’s frustrating. And I don’t know that we’re there, but I do wish I was getting somewhere.
Something to think about, if this trend continues.
I hope you’re feeling better than I am. See you Thursday, in theory.
