Oh man, squiders, nothing kills your writing productivity like having small children. You’re exhausted, you can’t pee without there being crying, and if you avert your eyes for a second, they’ll have scribbled all over the couch with a marker that came from who knows where. (You would have sworn they were all up high.)
WARNING: Do not leave your children unattended!
Small children (we’re talking mostly under 5, though some of these techniques may also work for older children who are less mature) are equal parts stupid and inventive. Taking your eyes off of them, even for just a minute, can sometimes be disastrous, which explains why most parents of small children always look like they’ve been run over by a bus.
That’s not to say that you can’t get any writing done around your children! You certainly can! It may not be as much as it was before children, but it is doable. It is more doable if you have a spouse, friends, or family that are willing to watch the kids periodically so that you can escape.
Write while they’re sleeping
Little kids sleep a lot. It doesn’t always feel like it, because some children do not like to sleep for decent periods of time or on any type of schedule, but they do. Even a 5-year-old should be getting somewhere between 10 and 13 hours of sleep a day, whereas a 2-year-old needs closer to 12-15 hours. The average adult should be getting 7-9 hours. So, in theory, you’ve got at least two hours where you’re awake and they’re not.
This isn’t a perfect plan–depending on sleep patterns, you may need a nap yourself during that time. If you have more than one small one, they may not sleep at the same time. And there may be other things that you need to do during that blessed naptime (showering, chores, a quick workout, a mental health check, etc.). But if you can manage it, even a few days a week, this is a great time to write because you know where they are and you’re relatively sure they’re not getting into trouble.
Write while they’re watching television
This won’t work for the youngest children (experts recommend no screens before the age of 2), but there are a lot of great, educational shows out there for preschool age children, and you can let your kids watch 1 or 2 a day without feeling too guilty about it.
Again, though, don’t leave your kids attended! I recommend sitting at a nearby table with a laptop or a notebook. That way you can see the kids and what they’re up to, and you can get a little bit of work done.
Designate a writing night
Basically, you get one night a week where you get to write and someone else (probably your spouse, but if they’re not available for whatever reason, a relative, a babysitter, the drop-in daycare, etc.) watches the kid(s). This guarantees that you have a least one time a week where you get to do some writing. (Also, it’s lovely because you get to be child-free for an hour or three and sometimes that’s really necessary.)
I’d recommend leaving the house, especially if you’re a stay-at-home parent, because being home all the time can do a number on your psyche. I prefer coffee shops, but you could also meet a writing friend somewhere, go to the library (depending on how late your local branch is open), or hit a restaurant that doesn’t mind people parking for a bit.
Join a parent group
Some parent groups will provide daycare once a month for a small fee (somewhere between $5 and $15 per time), while others have programs where one parent will watch a number of children (maybe four families worth), and then the next parent will watch all the kids, and then the next, etc. You will have to watch all the children yourself in that sort of scenario, but you will also get some time to yourself, though how often and how regularly depends on the group.
In general, however, a parent group can also be useful for general support and mental health, and talking to other parents, some of whom might have older kids and have some more experience, can be helpful for figuring out how to get time to yourself. Make sure you find one that is supportive (some groups unfortunately got bogged down by people who adhere to a certain type of parenting and are loudly opposed to any other techniques, or may be full of people who are determined to hang on to everything bad about parenting), has other parents with children about the same age (good both for discussing issues and for playdates), and provides a mix of activities that work both for you and your children.
And remember, your kids are only little once. There is good mixed in with the bad, and if you’re not getting as much written now as you’d like, well, it’s only a few years until they’re in school and have interests of their own.
Thoughts about writing around little kids, squiders?
