Beginnings are a sticking point for many authors, I suspect. You have to try to introduce your characters and your world as quickly and as entertainingly as possible. Below are the two previous beginnings Shards had before the final one you’ll see in the book.
In the first draft of Shards, Eva was failing out of school. I think I stuck it in because it was a good way to introduce conflict quickly, but it ended up not being in character for Eva.
~*~
Eva Martinez looked down at her lap where her hands lay folded calmly, belying her inner turmoil. “Are you sure?” she asked.
Mrs. Allard pushed her glasses up her nose. “I’m sorry, Miss Martinez, but the University is very strict about these sorts of things. If you do not pull your grades up by the end of the semester, you will be put on Academic Probation, and failing an improvement in your grades next semester, you will no longer be allowed to attend.”
Eva nodded, swallowing in the hopes of keeping the tears out of her eyes. “I understand.”
“I’m sure you do.” Mrs. Allard slid her glasses back down her nose to give Eva a meaningful look then turned away, the session at an end. Eva rose quietly, retrieving her bag from where she’d placed it next to her chair. She took a deep breath, slung her bag over her shoulder, and exited into the hallway where she managed to collide with another person not two feet away from the counselor’s doorway.
Her bag dropped to the floor as she rebounded so quickly she almost fell over backwards. As gravity took hold, Eva wondered what Mrs. Allard would think.
Luckily, something arrested her fall, and she looked up into two of the most brilliant green eyes she’d ever seen. They were almost unnaturally bright, their color reminiscent of a spring meadow just after the rain, rejuvenated and full of life.
It took her a moment to release that the eyes were connected to a person, and that he was speaking to her.
“Are you all right?” said the person. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I was just dawdling in the way.”
Eva blinked at him, but it took a few moments before her mouth seemed to decide to work again. This was not turning out to be a good day. “Yes, sorry. I didn’t, well – anyway, thank you.” She pulled herself away reluctantly, as the person turned out to be a young man, probably only a few years older than herself, and the rest of his face was as pleasing as his eyes. She blushed slightly, reaching for her bag. Now was really not the time to worry about such things.
He smiled at her. “It’s no problem. I’m Michael, by the way.” His smile was nice too, Eva noticed distractedly. He held out a hand and Eva slowly took it, suddenly shy.
“Eva,” she said. The wall clock behind Michael on the wall chimed and Eva started. “It was very nice to meet you, but I have to go.” He seemed surprised, but she moved around him and half-ran out of the office and down the corridor. That was not the way to make friends, she chided herself as she went. It was unlikely she’d ever see him again anyway, though, so it was probably not best to dwell on it.
Oh, but those eyes.
~*~
This next beginning is the edited beginning that I originally sent to my editor. She asked me to rearrange the start of the chapter and remove the dream sequence, since she was worried that it was too cliche to begin with a dream.
~*~
It was the same dream again. Eva recognized it like an old friend now. At first, it had only come to visit once every few weeks, but now it seemed like every night took her to the same place.
She stood in the middle of a desert, nothing in any direction except blowing sand and bright, empty skies. Even though she knew it was a dream, she could feel the wind streaming through her hair, could feel the sun beating on her face. And, even before he spoke, she knew he was there, behind her, just like he was every time her dreams brought her here.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said.
Eva turned to look at him. He was taller than she was by a good half a head, with long, chestnut hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Eva studied him for a moment. It was always the same guy, and she had absolutely no idea who he was. She’d never seen him before in her life, before the dreams, yet he was as clear and constant as a childhood friend. His appearance, his voice, never changed.
There was something familiar about him. Something comforting. After the second time she’d had the dream, Eva had wracked her brain, trying to remember who he was based off of, but she’d come up with a blank.
“I’ve been looking for you for a long time,” he said.
“Why?” she asked.
He held a hand out to her. Eva took it, and he closed his fingers over hers. His hand was warm, warmer than she had expected. “I will be here for you forever. I’m so glad you came back for me.”
“I don’t understand,” Eva said. Sometimes she varied her questions, but he always said the same thing. Whatever this dream represented, her subconscious was quite adamant about it.
He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. Eva laid her head on his chest. There was something very right about the position. She felt herself relax, let her eyes close.
After a long moment, he pulled away. Eva looked up, surprised at the variation in the dream. He gripped her by the shoulders, looked deep into her eyes, and said, “What are you still doing driving around in that old clunker?”
What the hell? Eva thought.
“We’ve got the widest selection of new cars and trucks in the area!”
Eva blinked, then blinked again as the dream faded and she made the gradual transition to being awake. Beside her bed, her clock radio was still promoting the benefits of going home with a new car. Eva groaned and rolled over, earning a protesting meow from her large white cat, Azrael, who had made himself comfortable across her back in an attempt to claim the rest of the bed as his own.
“Sorry, Az,” Eva said. She debated hitting the snooze button, but she had two chapters to read and a paper to finish up before lecture started in a few hours. With a sigh, she climbed out of bed, searched the floor for reasonably clean clothes, and pulled her long, raven hair up into a low bun.
